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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dog. A big fluffy thing, just chilling. I’m like, “Aww, look at that cutie!” But then it starts barking at me. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I’m not here to steal your snacks!” But it keeps barking, and I’m getting all flustered. I’m about to leave when the owner shows up, laughing. “He’s just protective!” Yeah, well, he’s got some serious issues, man.

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